Skip to main content

Top Ten Things that Suck About Being an Adult

Kids get to have all the fun! Here are the top ten things that suck about being an adult.

#10 No Recess

It all starts in Kindergarten; you spend some time coloring in books, then you play with toys for a while (except that bastard Tommy usually takes the good ones) then you color some more, and then you get a snack and it's nap time; it's a good system. Skip ahead, now you're in Grade School and things are starting to suck a little more but it's still a good system; they try to make you learn stuff for a while but then in the middle of the day you get to go play on the swings. Does it work that way for adults? No! Do you get to leave the office in the middle of the day and tell your boss "If you need me I'll be on the slide?" Hell no! It's so unfair.

#9 No extras with your food

Special "Prizes" in your breakfast food, happy meal toys, etc, all a part of life when you're a kid. Do we get a free bonus gift at the drive through? No we get the option to "buy" something extra (Shrek Collectors cup $4.99) and do what with it? Give it to the kid in the backseat.

#8 Winter Sucks

As a kid: "Snow day! School's closed yay!" As an adult: "Crap! Can't get to work; boss is gonna be pissed; gonna be behind on my work; get to spend the day injuring myself shoveling stupid snow."

#7 Summer Sucks

Summer vacation really needs to apply to the rest of us!

#6 Halloween Sucks

Dressing up in a costume and having people give you free stuff only really works for kids at Halloween and strippers working their way through college. For the rest of us, we are forced to buy our own peanut butter cups.

#5 Christmas Sucks

When you're a kid you just wake up and open presents; as an adult you wake up after a couple of hours of sleep after spending the nigh trying to keep injuries and loud profanity to a minimum while attempting to assemble that great surprise gift.

#4 Kid Food is way Better that Grown-up Food

Just take a look at the cereal isle; our cereal is high in fiber while the kid cereal is high in marshmallow. "Hey this one is good for your heart, and that one has a full daily serving of BLA, BLAH, BLAH! Who cares!?! This one is a great source of marshmallows shaped like ghosts." Why do I have to get the weird look at the check-out counter when I'm getting my Coco Puff on; should I not be allowed to enjoy some fruity pebbles just because I'm not Six? And another thing, as if I don't feel enough shame when I'm buying Spaghetti-O's, why do they make the ones with cartoon shapes cheaper so that for the sake of a bargain I have to feel awkward as they ring up my "Dora The Explorer" special pasta with meatballs!?!

#3 Pointless Tasks are Required

Whether it's stupid paperwork your boss makes you do, taxes, banking, or trying to flesh out a Top Ten List when you can really only think of Nine, pointless tasks are a part of everyday life for the average adult.

#2 People Judge you for Just Wanting to Eat Cereal and Watch Cartoons

No I don't smoke pot! I just like Captain Crunch and bugs Bunny! Is that a crime?

#1 And of course Work Sucks!

Everyone hates their job. Don't believe the people who say "I just love my job!" Those are the ones who eventually snap and come in shooting. If you are reading this at work (shame on you, you lazy bastard do some work) I say, enough! Don't let the kids have all the fun; tell your boss that if he/she needs anything you'll be on the swings, and go to recess!

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to be happy. Four things to remember.

Remember that hateful people don't win by hating you, they win by making you hate them. We have all been angry. We have all felt hate whether we admit it or not. Your jaw clenches, the back of your neck and ears get hot, your fists clench and your mind is racing with every horrible thing you can think about this person who has wronged you. Typically this is a passing feeling as you react to something and once you calm down, it's back to normal for you. However, there are some people who stay in this place living in hate. Think about how you feel in that moment of intense anger. Imagine being trapped there all the time. This is the life of the hateful person. Think of them as a drowning person who is trying to pull you down with them. Or as I like to think of it, a hateful life is a lonely life and if I hate you and make you hate me, I'm not alone in that angry dark place anymore. You can't always transform hate, but you don't have to let hate transform you.
Post a Comment
Read more

Sex Offender Treatment and Recidivism

"Sexual assault is a multi-factored behavioral phenomenon that has been identified as a leading social and criminal justice problem" ( drc.state.oh.us ) Sexual assault has affected the lives of millions of people and is a serious criminal justice and a social problem. According to a study from the department of justice surveying trends of sex crimes between 1983 and 1995, persons age 12 or older reported experiencing an estimated 260,300 attempted or completed rapes and nearly 95,000 threatened or completed sexual assaults other than rape in 1995 (usdoj). In 2004, there were 209,880 victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assaults ( rain.org ). According to the 1997 Sex Offense and Offenders Study from the Department of Justice and 1999 National Crime Victimization Study (as cited on  www.rainn.org ), the following statistics illustrate the problems present for society in regard to sex crimes. Every two and a half minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assault
Post a Comment
Read more

Canine Influenza: What You Need to Know to Protect Your Pet

Influenza affects millions of people every year; people rush to get flu shots every winter, and many become gravely ill from influenza infection. What a lot of people don't know is that our pets can get the flu as well. We don't usually think of our dogs getting the flu or coming down with a cold, but it is much more common than you might think. The canine influenza virus known as H3N8, was discovered in 2004 and has been found in cases throughout the U.S. This virus is commonly referred to as dog flu, however, this term is not favored by experts in the field as it creates confusion and leads people to falsely associate it with viruses affecting humans such as the bird flu and swine flu. It is important to note that this is specifically a virus impacting canines and is not transferable to humans. While H3N8 is not a direct threat to people, it is of specific concern to dog owners. Here's what you need to know if you're a dog owner. Symptoms Symptoms of dog flu are m
Post a Comment
Read more