#10 No Recess
It all starts in Kindergarten; you spend some time coloring in books, then you play with toys for a while (except that bastard Tommy usually takes the good ones) then you color some more, and then you get a snack and it's nap time; it's a good system. Skip ahead, now you're in Grade School and things are starting to suck a little more but it's still a good system; they try to make you learn stuff for a while but then in the middle of the day you get to go play on the swings. Does it work that way for adults? No! Do you get to leave the office in the middle of the day and tell your boss "If you need me I'll be on the slide?" Hell no! It's so unfair.
#9 No extras with your food
Special "Prizes" in your breakfast food, happy meal toys, etc, all a part of life when you're a kid. Do we get a free bonus gift at the drive through? No we get the option to "buy" something extra (Shrek Collectors cup $4.99) and do what with it? Give it to the kid in the backseat.
#8 Winter Sucks
As a kid: "Snow day! School's closed yay!" As an adult: "Crap! Can't get to work; boss is gonna be pissed; gonna be behind on my work; get to spend the day injuring myself shoveling stupid snow."
#7 Summer Sucks
Summer vacation really needs to apply to the rest of us!
#6 Halloween Sucks
Dressing up in a costume and having people give you free stuff only really works for kids at Halloween and strippers working their way through college. For the rest of us, we are forced to buy our own peanut butter cups.
#5 Christmas Sucks
When you're a kid you just wake up and open presents; as an adult you wake up after a couple of hours of sleep after spending the nigh trying to keep injuries and loud profanity to a minimum while attempting to assemble that great surprise gift.
#4 Kid Food is way Better that Grown-up Food
Just take a look at the cereal isle; our cereal is high in fiber while the kid cereal is high in marshmallow. "Hey this one is good for your heart, and that one has a full daily serving of BLA, BLAH, BLAH! Who cares!?! This one is a great source of marshmallows shaped like ghosts." Why do I have to get the weird look at the check-out counter when I'm getting my Coco Puff on; should I not be allowed to enjoy some fruity pebbles just because I'm not Six? And another thing, as if I don't feel enough shame when I'm buying Spaghetti-O's, why do they make the ones with cartoon shapes cheaper so that for the sake of a bargain I have to feel awkward as they ring up my "Dora The Explorer" special pasta with meatballs!?!
#3 Pointless Tasks are Required
Whether it's stupid paperwork your boss makes you do, taxes, banking, or trying to flesh out a Top Ten List when you can really only think of Nine, pointless tasks are a part of everyday life for the average adult.
#2 People Judge you for Just Wanting to Eat Cereal and Watch Cartoons
No I don't smoke pot! I just like Captain Crunch and bugs Bunny! Is that a crime?
#1 And of course Work Sucks!
Everyone hates their job. Don't believe the people who say "I just love my job!" Those are the ones who eventually snap and come in shooting. If you are reading this at work (shame on you, you lazy bastard do some work) I say, enough! Don't let the kids have all the fun; tell your boss that if he/she needs anything you'll be on the swings, and go to recess!
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